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Selected Excerpts...
85TH BIRTHDAY — TOAST
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YOU WERE BORN IN OCTOBER, THE YEAR 1920,
TO IMMIGRANTS FROM RUSSIA, WHO HAD BARELY A PENNY.
THEY RAISED YOU, NAT AND NORA, QUITE A DIVERSE CREW,
THE PLACES YOU ALL LIVED WERE MORE THEN A FEW.
THERE WAS PORTLAND MAINE AND N.Y., ON IT'S LOWER EAST SIDE,
THE BRONX, ARTHUR AVENUE, WOW, WHAT A RIDE!
STARTING AT A YOUNG AGE, YOU HAD THE DRIVE TO WORK ALL THE TIME,
YOU LABORED IN YOUR DAD'S RESTAURANT JUST TO MAKE A DIME.
THEN OF COURSE THERE WERE PEANUTS YOU SOLD AT THE BALLPARK,
THE BUTTON FACTORY YOU WORKED IN WAS SURELY NO LARK.
YOU DID SHIP WELDING IN MAINE AND JOBS SO MANY MORE,
IT MUST HAVE BEEN CLEAR TO ALL, THE SUCCESS YOU WOULD HAVE IN STORE.
* * *
40TH BIRTHDAY — ROAST
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A MORE RECENT ONE I COULD SHARE, SINCE IT IS PARTICULARLY PAINFUL FOR ME,
IS ONE THAT OCCURRED THIS PAST WINTER, YOU SEE.
IT WAS A MAJOR RAINSTORM, ALL THE POWER WAS ON THE BRINK,
NO WATER WAS WORKING, YOU COULD NOT EVEN HAVE A DRINK.
JANE CAME TO THE HOUSE TO GRAB SOME THINGS SHE MIGHT NEED,
OFF TO MONA'S SHE WOULD GO WITH SOME INCREDIBLE SPEED.
BUT FOR SOME REASON SHE STOPPED DEAD IN HER TRACKS,
AND TURNED ALL THE FAUCETS ON AND NEVER LOOKED BACK.
THE NEED TO BRUSH HER TEETH TOOK OVER LOGIC AND MORE,
WHEN I RETURNED TO THE HOUSE, MY EYES WERE SO VERY SORE.
FOR THE WATER WAS FLOODING THE ENTIRE FIRST FLOOR,
NOT TO MENTION THE BASEMENT AND OH SO MUCH MORE!
THE PART THAT IS MOST PERPLEXING I THINK,
IS HOW SHE MANAGED TO CLOSE THE STOPPERS IN EACH SINK.
SO THE DAMAGE WAS DONE, BUT SHE REMAINED POISED AND WITH MUCH GRACE,
SHE SMILED AND LAUGHED AS SHE REDECORATED OUR PLACE.
* * *
CORPORATE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
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When I look back and reflect upon my past years with the company, I am so proud of the achievements we have made. I did not make them alone, but with and because all of you. I remember the first year when we started out and we all sat in one office space. Now, I can barely get Sam to return my calls!
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EULOGY
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TO SUM UP A LIFE OF ALMOST 87 YEARS IN JUST A FEW MINUTES IS AN IMPOSSIBLE TASK. THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE HERE KNOW WHO OUR FATHER WAS AT HIS MOST INTIMATE LEVEL. YOU ARE HIS FAMILY AND IRV AND HARRIET, HIS VERY BEST FRIENDS. WHILE THERE IS NOW A VOID FOR ALL OF US THAT WILL NEVER BE FILLED AND A TRUE FEELING OF DEEP SADNESS FOR THE LOSS OF OUR FATHER, OUR BEST FRIEND AND OUR CHEERLEADER, WE ALSO HAVE SOME AMAZING COMFORT. FOR WHEN MY siblings AND I WERE TRYING TO DECIDE HOW TO BEST EXPRESS OUR FEELINGS ABOUT OUR FATHER AND HIS LIFE, WE ALL CAME TO ONE SIMPLE CONCLUSION: WHAT A GREAT LIFE HE HAD.
* * *
CANDLE LIGHTING Service
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CAMP ROBINDEL IS MY HOME FOR THE SUMMER,
WHEN AUGUST ARRIVES IT IS SUCH A BUMMER.
AT CAMP WE HAVE FUN, AND THE BOND IS SO TIGHT,
WE ARE TOGETHER ALL THE DAYS AND ALL OF THE NIGHTS.
STEALING BOXES OF COOKIES, AND HIDING THEM UNDER OUR PILLOW,
THEN WATCHING BUGS COME, WE'VE ALL BEEN SNEAKY SINCE WILLOW.
WHETHER IT IS RAIDING THE KITCHEN, WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN,
OR WATCHING "M.I." DO DANCES AND CLOWNING AROUND.
TALKING WITH NAT AND JUST HANGING OUT,
TO ME THAT IS WHAT BEING AT CAMP WITH YOU ALL IS ABOUT.
THIS CANDLE I ASK MY FRIENDS FROM CAMP TO SET FIRE TO,
I LOVE YOU ALL AND CANNOT IMAGINE A LIFE WITHOUT YOU.
* * *
BLESSING
* * *
But a true definition of a "blessing" is not small like a pea,
It's "promoting or contributing to happiness, well-being, or prosperity".
So it is YOU who always blesses US in all of your ways,
And we hope we reciprocate, not today but always.
We bless the baby and our friendship, which we know will endure,
For today and forever, well into the future.
* * *
BAT MITZVAH — SPEECH
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IT IS HARD TO IMAGINE THAT 13 YEARS HAVE GONE BY SINCE YOU WERE BORN. THE THING THAT WAS MOST DISTINCTIVE ABOUT YOU WHEN YOU WERE BORN WAS YOUR INCREDIBLY BRIGHT RED LIPS. I THINK THAT WAS A WINDOW INTO YOUR INCREDIBLY CHEERFUL AND OPTIMISTIC PERSONALITY. IT WAS ONE OF THE HAPPIEST DAYS OF OUR LIVES, AND DON'T WORRY JAKE, THE OTHER WAS WHEN YOU WERE BORN.
* * *
BAT MITZVAH — ROAST
* * *
FROM WHEN HANNAH WAS YOUNGER NATURE WAS NOT A REAL TREAT,
DID SHE TELL YOU OF HIKING AND WHAT SHE WORE ON HER FEET?
SHE WAS AT MY BROTHER'S HOUSE WHO COULD LIVE IN THE JUNGLE,
A HIKE WAS ON THE AGENDA AND HANNAH STARTED TO FUMBLE.
WHAT SHOULD SHE PUT ON FOR THIS WEIRD RECREATION?
IT WAS FOREIGN TO HER, BUT IT WAS UNCLE JOHN'S DEDICATION.
SHE GRABBED HER SUNGLASSES, A TANK TEE AND SOME SWEATS,
AND DEEP DOWN INSIDE SHE REALLY STARTED TO FRET.
HER COUSINS WERE DECKED IN CAMOUFLAGE WITH BIG BOOTS,
SHE REALIZED FLIP FLOPS MIGHT BE BAD, WHEN UNCLE JOHN STARTED TO HOOT.
THEY WALKED INTO THE WOODS, FILLED WITH STICKS AND ROCKS,
SHE WAS STYLISH FOR SURE, BUT SHE WAS DREAMING OF BOOTS AND THICK SOCKS.
* * *
REUNION
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So fifteen years have gone by since these amazing school days,
But have we really changed any of our old ways?
I mean Sarah still talks till your ears are a blaze,
Julie keeps running marathons; she remains physically crazed.
And Annie is forever studying and writing into the wee hours,
But it's her child's homework now, it is no longer ours.
I do not see any wrinkles, spare tires or big asses,
We all do look fabulous, but hey, have you seen my new glasses?
So let's for a minute reflect and ruminate,
On those great college days that were definitely top rate.
To memories I still cherish and which remain very clear,
To friendships for lifetimes that will always be dear.
A toast on our fifteenth, let there be so many more,
May we be here for each other, no matter what life has in store.
* * *
WEDDING — TOAST
* * *
I KNOW IF DEBBIE WERE ALIVE, SHE'D BE FILLED WITH PRIDE AND EMOTION,
TO SEE WHAT HER SON HAD ACCOMPLISHED AND HIS LOVE AND DEVOTION.
TO MY SUPERMAN I WISH YOU ALL OF THE BEST,
A LIFE FILLED WITH LOVE AND PLENTY OF ZEST.
I KNOW YOUR FATHER AND JOANN, WISH YOU THE SAME AS ME,
YEARS FULL OF PASSION, PROSPERITY AND SOME DAY A FAMILY.
SO A TOAST TO YOU BOTH FOR A LONG LIFE TOGETHER,
I WISH YOU TWO GOOD HEALTH AND TRUE HAPPINESS FOREVER AND EVER.
* * *
WEDDING — ROAST
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THOUGH ALEX IS NOW A MORAL, ETHICAL GUY,
THAT IS QUITE DIFFERENT FROM THE DAYS GONE BY.
DURING A COLLEGE FINAL, A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER ARRIVED,
ALEX WAS ASKED FOR HIS TERM PAPER AND HE NEARLY DID CRY.
HIS LACK OF ATTENDANCE DURING THE ENTIRE SEMESTER,
MADE HIM MISS THAT REQUIREMENT WHEN IT WAS ANNOUNCED IN DECEMBER.
NOT A MINUTE TO LOOSE, HIS MIND WAS AT WORK,
"I LEFT IT AT HOME", HE DID CLAIM, WITHOUT A SMIRK.
HE WENT TO OUR HOUSE WITHOUT A MINUTE TO SPARE,
AND MY TERM PAPER HE REVISED IN QUITE A TEAR.
A NEW TITLE PAGE, HE MADE IT IN A FLASH,
ALEX WAS NOW THE BRIGHT AUTHOR OF MY PIECE OF TRASH.
THIS SCAM THAT HE PULLED OFF, MADE HIM APPEAR BRIGHTER THAN ME,
YOU SEE ALEX GOT THE "A" AND I GOT THE "B".
* * *
REHEARSAL DINNER — TOAST
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MY NAME IS HARRIET, FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW,
TONIGHT I WILL STEAL A FEW MINUTES OR SO.
TO TOAST DARLING LISA, WHOM I HAVE KNOWN WELL BEFORE SHE ARRIVED,
HER GRANDMA AND MY MOM WERE FRIENDS, WHEN MY MOM WAS ALIVE.
AND THE FAMILY CONNECTION CONTINUES THRU JUDY AND ME,
JUDY'S THE MOM OF LISA, THE WONDERFUL BRIDE TO BE.
SO IF IT IS DIRT THAT YOU WANT, ON EITHER LISA OR HER FOLKS,
I AM AVAILABLE AFTER THE WEDDING, FOR A FABULOUS ROAST.
BUT TONIGHT IT IS LISA, WHO IS THE CENTER OF THE SHOW,
A BLUSHING BRIDE WITH A BEAUTIFUL GLOW.
A TEACHER OF CHILDREN, I KNOW SHE'S CAPTURED THEIR HEARTS,
BUT HER OWN BEGINNING WAS NOT SUCH AN INNOCENT START.
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"WHAT A DELIGHT TO WORK WITH SUE! YOU WILL NEVER BE DISAPPOINTED! YOUR POEM WILL BE UNBELIEVABLY CLEVER AND YOUR AUDIENCE WILL BE AMAZED WITH YOUR CREATIVE ABILITIES. SUE CAPTURES EVERY EMOTION AND, IN A BRIEF PERIOD OF TIME, SHE WILL SEE YOUR SUBJECT BETTER THAN YOU DO. THE FIRST TIME I HEARD HER WORK I WAS SPELLBOUND. I CALLED HER FOR MY NEXT TOAST AND HAVE REPEATEDLY USED HER EVER SINCE. ALL MY FRIENDS THINK I AM A FABULOUS SPEECH WRITER AND IT REMAINS OUR SECRET THAT SUE IS THE RECIPE FOR MY ACCOLADES!"
HARRIET, VIRGINIA
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"WHAT A RELIEF ONCE I FOUND SCRIPTED! I HAVE ALWAYS STRUGGLED
WITH WRITING SPEECHES. SUSAN WAS ABLE TO TAKE MY IDEAS AND CRAFTED THEM INTO FUNNY, WITTY AND POIGNANT SPEECHES/TOAST. I NOW USE SCRIPTED FOR ALL MY PUBLIC SPEAKING AFFAIRS-EVERYTHING FROM INDUSTRY FORUMS TO EULOGIES. WITH OUT DOUBT SHE HAS BEEN A TIME AND STRESS REDUCER FOR ME. I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND SCRIPTED."
JOHN, CONNECTICUT
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"I WAS IN SUCH A BIND. MY BROTHER'S REHEARSAL DINNER WAS LATER THAT NIGHT, AND THOUGH I HAD THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT WHAT TO SAY, I HAD NOTHING!! I CALLED SUE FROM THE LOBBY OF THE HOTEL IN A STATE OF PANIC. SHE ASKED ME TO TELL HER A STORY OR TWO ABOUT MY BROTHER AND SISTER-IN-LAW TO BE. WITHIN HOURS, WE HAD A POEM THAT BROUGHT DOWN THE HOUSE. FOURTEEN YEARS LATER, PEOPLE STILL TELL ME HOW GREAT IT WAS. SUE IS TERRIFIC. I HAVE USED HER SINCE THEN FOR OTHER EVENTS, AS WELL. I WILL DEFINITELY CONTINUE TO WORK WITH HER AGAIN AND AGAIN."
Sheri, Washington, D.C.
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"I LIVE IN N.Y. AND AM 47 YEARS OLD. I HAVE BEEN TO A TON OF WEDDINGS, BUSINESS AFFAIRS AND OTHER PARTIES WHERE MANY SPEECHES, TOASTS AND ROASTS ARE MADE. MY BEST FRIEND DID A POEM ABOUT ME AND MY WIFE AT OUR WEDDING. IT WAS BRILLIANTLY DONE—WITTY, FUNNY AND CONCISE. THE GUESTS WERE DYING WITH LAUGHTER AND, ULTIMATELY, ALMOST TEARS AT THE END OF HIS TOAST. WHEN HE TOLD ME HE USED SCRIPTED TO WRITE IT FOR HIM I WAS SHOCKED, FOR IT CAPTURED ME SO PERFECTLY AND THE STORIES AND THOUGHTS WERE SO ON TARGET THAT IT GENUINELY SOUNDED LIKE MY FRIEND'S OWN WORD CHOICES. FRIENDS WHO ATTENDED MY WEDDING STILL TALK ABOUT HOW FUNNY IT WAS. BRAVO TO SCRIPTED FOR A JOB PERFECTLY DONE—I WILL CERTAINLY USE YOUR SERVICES MYSELF FOR MY NEXT TOAST."
JEFF, NEW YORK
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"IT IS ALMOST 16 YEARS LATER AND I CAN STILL VIVIDLY REMEMBER HOW I FELT WHEN THE POEM SUE HAD WRITTEN WAS READ IN HONOR OF MY WEDDING. I FOUND MYSELF CONSTANTLY SMILING AND LAUGHING, AND AT THE SAME TIME I WAS ELATED AND OVERCOME WITH FEELINGS OF JOY AND CONTENTMENT. SHE GENUINELY DESCRIBED MEMORABLE EVENTS WE HAD SHARED TOGETHER. SHE CLEARLY CAPTURED THE EMOTIONS I WAS FEELING. I ENJOYED HER POEM SO MUCH THAT I HAD IT FRAMED AND LOOK AT IT OFTEN. I AM TRULY PRIVILEGED TO HAVE RECEIVED SUCH A SPECIAL MEMENTO. I WILL CHERISH IT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE."
SHERI, NEW YORK
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"Having Sue write a ditty or a rather long toast one will never know that someone other than the "reader" has written it.
What is so unique about Sue is that she totally captures the person she is writing about. When I heard my son-in-law read the "roast" at my party, not for a moment could I be convinced that anyone but him wrote it. It totally captured our relationship and the humor was so like him.
It was authentic, intimate, and an accurate reflection of our relationship.
When I read it there are moments when the rhythm is like "Dr. Seuss".
Sue turns herself into a chameleon in that she becomes one with the person she is working with and is so successful in her collaboration that the finished poem is true to the spirt of the person it is written for. She must be a great listener for it seems as if she also knows the person she writes about.
The experience of working with Sue must be fun and one will never be disappointed for Sue gets it!"
Mona, New York
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